The Evil Toilet
by Solo D. Maxwell-Yuy
Summary: The G-boys and friends encounter the presence of the evil toilet . . . that speaks . . . what would YOU do? What woukld YOU say? . . . VERY FUNNY!


THE EVIL TOILET!  
  
Starring: The Evil Toilet, The G-Boys, Demoness, Sara, Chelle, Lisha aka my mommy, Chelle, Cat, Lily, and many more friends!  
  
__________________________________________  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't care, don't sue, and don't give a jolly-well- damn whether you like it or not!  
  
A/N: the OOC's are some of my fanfiction friends! Enjoy!  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Sara: *knock knock*  
  
Toilet: *opens lid* what?  
  
Sara: How's the view down there? Sexy looking?  
  
Toilet: *sweatdrops*  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Lily; *looks at toilet*  
  
Toilet: um. . . hi  
  
Lily: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *shoots it with a bazooka*  
  
Toilet: X_X  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Kaynoah: *knock knock* How's the water?  
  
Toilet: Not very fresh, it always has this weird smell. What is it? And sometimes lumps. The service is horrible an-  
  
Kaynoah: Shut up you slow baka!  
  
Toilet: but you asked.  
  
Kaynoah: I don't care!  
  
Toilet: Fine then! Be that Way!  
  
Kaynoah: My tummy hurts! *pulls down pants and sits down*  
  
Toilet: What! Noooo! ! ! !  
  
Kaynoah: *takes a dunk and leaves with out a word or flushing the toilet*  
  
Toilet: O_o  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Lisha: *knock knock* Hello  
  
Toilet: Hello.  
  
Lisha: . . . O_O  
  
Toilet: . . .  
  
Lisha: . . .  
  
*silence*  
  
*cricket sound*  
  
Lisha: *walks away*  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Quatre: uh . . . I gotta go pee pee . . .  
  
Toilet: Um . . . okay, go ahead.  
  
Quatre: thanks  
  
Toilet: For what?  
  
Quatre: Aren't you gonna let me use you?  
  
Toilet: Um . . . no?  
  
Quatre: You're so mean! *tearful eyes*  
  
Toilet: Yea, keep walking blondie!  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Chris: ::blink blink:: ::blink blink:: ........what the....  
  
Toilet: hi  
  
Chris: I need to pee  
  
Toilet: O_O NO! ! ! ! *shuts lid*  
  
Chris: *ready to burst* Come on man! I had, like a hundred Pepsi's!!!  
  
Toilet: O_O NO! ! !  
  
Chris: damnit! *run for life to find a toilet*  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Chelle: hn . . . something's wrong *steps into bathroom*  
  
Toilet: *crying*  
  
Chelle: What's wrong now?  
  
Toilet: *sniffles* I'm still a virgin. No one will poop in me! *wail*  
  
Chelle: o . . .k . . . O_o  
  
Toilet: Will you help me?  
  
Chelle: O_O *runs like all hell set loose*  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Lily; *looks at toilet*  
  
Toilet: um. . . hi  
  
Lily:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *shoots it with a bazooka*  
  
Toilet : X_X  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Solo: *knock knock*  
  
Toilet: Who's there?  
  
Solo: Huh?  
  
Toilet: Huh who?  
  
Solo: O_O HUH?  
  
Toilet: HUH WHO?  
  
Solo: NO! *slaps lid shut* NO!  
  
Toilet: Huh?  
  
Solo: NO! Toilets can't talk!  
  
Toilet: I CAN!  
  
Solo: O_o *runs out of room*  
  
Toilet: Yeah that's right. Jut keep on running. Your shit was nasty anyways. Why did I take this job? Why am I cursed like this? I don't even have a father . . .  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE! THIS TOILET IS DIRTY! ! ! !  
  
Toilet: That's because YOU never clean me!  
  
Wufei: You're a big toilet. You can clean yourself!  
  
Toilet: but I was never potty trained!  
  
Wufei: Not my problem!  
  
Toilet: . . . . you're so mean to me *cries pee*  
  
Wufei: Awww, shit. Don't aim at me!  
  
Toilet: XD  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Jenn: So. . I guess all your friends are a bunch of arsis? *laughs*  
  
Toilet: No, I don't have any. I'm not clean because no one takes cares of me!!! They just use me and leave!! *tears*  
  
Jenn: O_O  
  
Toilet: Will you take care of me?  
  
You: O_O *runs*  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Lucia: *pulls out Author Space shotgun and open fire* Drown in fire you sick john! *pumps it with lead*  
  
Toilet: X_X  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Trowa: . . .  
  
Toilet: . . .  
  
Trowa: . . .  
  
Toilet: BOO!  
  
Trowa: eek! *shrieks and jumps up*  
  
Toilet: *snickers*  
  
Trowa: DON'T DO THAT! *tearful eyes*  
  
Toilet: XP  
  
Trowa: CATHY! ! ! ! THE TOILETS BEING MEAN TO ME! *cries and runs out of bathroom*  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
NJ: *knock knock*  
  
Toilet: hn.  
  
NJ: toilet? *opens lid*  
  
Tolet: *sighs* Go ahead. Do your suty.  
  
(Half an hour later)  
  
Toilet: Oh, I get it.  
  
NJ: All I'm saying is that you shouldn't let people dump that shit on ya.  
  
Toilet: Can I have an example?  
  
NJ: *thinks* ok. Like me. Take some offense.  
  
Toilet: Then get the fuck off me! *jumps*  
  
NJ: *lands on the floor* But I'm not done.  
  
Toilet: Too bad. Next!  
  
*Outside*  
  
Max: What happened?  
  
NJ: My therapy backfired!  
  
Max: Told ya bitch!  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Toilet: *mumbling* why do I have to eat all this poop and shit?  
  
Cat: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  
  
Toilet: huh? What do you want you poop maker!  
  
Cat: O_O  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Duo: *comes into bathroom*  
  
Nee: *is evil toilet* Hey Suichi!  
  
Duo: I'm not Suichi! Now let me use the potty! *sits on toilet*  
  
Nee/Toilet: *bite Duo*  
  
Duo: O_O YIPES!!! *runs away*  
  
Nee/Toilet: muahahaha  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
D: *comes into bathroom*  
  
Toilet: Finally someone to talk to! ! ! So anyway, then Toiletta said . . .  
  
*goes on and on and on and on*  
  
D: Stop talking to me or eat shit.  
  
Toilet: . . .  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Toilet: Hey baby, let me get some off that ass . . .  
  
Duo: O_O *runs away crying*  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Drac: What the?  
  
Toilet: *babbling*  
  
Drac: O_O *burns the toilet to a crisp*  
  
Toilet: X_X  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Toilet: Hi.  
  
Nikki: Right, I must be high.  
  
Toilet: Why?  
  
Nikki: A toilet is talking to me.  
  
Toilet: Never heard a toilet before?  
  
Nikki: I'm leaving!  
  
Toilet: Hold on, let me suck your butt-  
  
Nikki: O_O WHAT?! BYE!  
  
Toilet: The door is locked! It's just us.  
  
Nikki: *pulls down skirt poops in toilet* Bye! *flushes toilet*  
  
Toilet: Ahh! I ate shit! *starts backing up* I don't feel so good.  
  
Nikki: You need some Draino  
  
Toilet: I hate medicine.  
  
Nikki: Looks like I got some in my purse. *brings out bottle, pours into toilet* There you go! Bye Now! *leaves*  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Tia: *comes up humming the tootsie roll pop song from the commercial and asks* Mr. Toilet, how many flushes does it take to make you over flow.  
  
Toilet: *in an owly voice* Well, let's find out . . . *begins to flush itself* 1 . . .*flush* 2 . . .*flush* 3 . . .  
  
*BAM*  
  
Tia: O_O *looks at the exploded toilet and slowly walks away.  
  
Toilet: X_X  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Toilet: Um, hi?  
  
Kate: AHHHH! *runs away screaming about talking toilets*  
  
*stops for a moment and then runs back with explosives stolen from Heero... (shifty eyes) or from Fei*  
  
Toilet: O_O NANI!!!  
  
Kate: *kills it*  
  
Toilet: X_X  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Rebecca: THE TOILES ALIVE! ! !  
  
Toilet: I'm coming to eat you?!  
  
Rebecca: O_O *kicks toilet out of the window*  
  
Toilet: Weeeeeeeee!!!!!  
  
Rebecca: O_O I did not just see that . . .  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Heero: . . . *about to sit on toilet*  
  
Toilet: Raise up scrawny boy  
  
Heero: hn . . . what was that? *jiggles toilet handle*  
  
Toilet: Oh, shit.  
  
Heero: hn . . . o shit is right.  
  
Toilet: Don't do that, I gotta go!  
  
Heero: make me . . .  
  
Toilet: -_____-; ; ;  
  
~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*@~*  
  
Holly: You're a smelly toilet!  
  
Toilet: Hey, it's your shit!  
  
Holly: Nu-uh. I've never pooped in you before.  
  
Toilet: Well, I guess it's your friends then.  
  
Holly: O_O  
  
________________________________________  
  
So how was that? Did you like it? lol! Review if you want! I don't care! ^___________^ 


End file.
